April 29, 2013

Youth

We talk of love too wild to contain
Of words that form the limits of world's daylight
And throw away the things we can't explain.

We dream of passion to escape mundane 
Listen, our cries resounding, full of fight
We talk of love too wild to contain.

We clasp onto clever ideas with vain,
Wonderful persistence; minds do unite
And throw away the things we can't explain.

We dive into our bed of sheets with pain
Inhabited in hearts fragile and white
We talk about love too wild to contain.

We sing mouths wide with vigor, of tales our brains
Have grasped during times had at twilight
And throw away the things we can't explain.  

Whispered breaths capture wishes he have of gain
Greater than words considered in moonlight
We talk of love too wild to contain
And throw away the things we can't explain.  

A Sign of Narnia

"NARNIA" announces the standard 8 1/2" x 11" laminated white sheet of paper in block letters.  The sign is taped to the metal of a green lamppost.  However, the gleam of morning sun has distinguished the advertising spotlight of the post, so it waves unnoticed by passing pedestrians.  If the sign was larger or more significant, I believe it would be more easily noticed, without the need of being posted on a lamppost.  Instead it waves in the morning breeze, unreadable at unpredictable intervals, when the page gets folded over itself and only the word "NIA" or "ARNIA" is published to its busy audience.
Below the colored letters is a large arrow that takes up the other half of the limited space of 93 1/2 square inches of flimsy paper.  The first thing I do after noticing the post and paper, is to search the area in the direction the arrow points.  I see nothing.  There are only interweaving students hurrying to class with purposeful paces.  There are no stationary crowds.  There isn't a second lamppost surrounded by a circle of forest-y trees or snow or fawns or talking beavers.  Not wanting to be disappointed by the promise of the sign, I continue staring off into the distance wanting to catch a glimpse of something extraordinary.  I even pause for a moment and slow my pace so that each foot barely passes in front of the other.  But I see nothing.  The rush of ongoing pedestrians pushes me along to my next class that will start promptly at 11:00.
I cannot forget the laminated sign.  I continue to muse over its message through the entirety of the day.  Was I not worthy to see the evidence of magical land?  Did I not have a strong enough conviction or enough faith in its existence?  Those present and able to see the post are all unworthy, for we continued on with our mundane lives, while an invitation to a real-life fantasy appeared before us.  All I gave as conviction was a second look and weak curiosity; my toes still pointed toward daily responsibility.  I have no excuse.  When faced with a choice between ordinary and incredible, I made the wrong one.
Then I consider the sign being only a fragment of my imagination or only visible to me.  It didn't seem as though any other person saw it.  The sign called me to Narnia, posted on an iconic lamppost, and I ignored the calling.  Next I consider my bravery.  Ignoring the call could be a testament of my lack of bravery.  Armies of intelligent, talking animals were waiting for me to lead them in the fight for freedom, or perhaps to save them from peril.  Hearts were broken and blood was shed during the hour I sat scrolling through Pinterest in my Living with Plants class.  This proves I have no guts for adventure, only fingertips for browsing.

Someone New.

Times we met before he got my number:  3.  Times I complained to my roommates that he didn't ask for my number:  8.  Height:  5' 4".  Number of double takes when I first found this out:  1.  My Height:  5' 3".  Meals he has bought me:  5.  Days since our first date:  27.  Dates since then:  8.5.  Times he's asked me to be his girlfriend:  1/2. Poems he's written for me:  1.  Number of roses he bought me:  3.  My building and apartment number when I first met him:  23, #310.  Times he came to that apartment:  2.  Times we held hands:  7.  I initiated: 2, he initiated:  5; his hands were cold: 1, hot: 6.  Times he's kissed me:  1; on the cheek:  1, on the lips:  0.  Number of lingering hugs shared:  13.  Dreams I've had about him:  3.  Sleepless nights over him:  0, me:  1.  Text messages exchanged:  213.  Pick up lines used:  0.  Number of roommates he's met:  3.  Number of secrets he's told me:  11, hasn't told me:  2, I've told him:  6, I won't tell him even if he asks:  2.  Average number of times I think about him per day:  15.  Number of things I've said to him that has made him anything less than happy:  3.  Number of moments regretted:  0.  Number of "exes" he's met:  1.  People who are rooting for him:  3.  Journal entries mentioned in:  3.  Number of siblings, his:  4, mine:  3.  Number of months at BYU, him:  4, me:  8.  Months spent on a mission, him:  24, me:  -18.  Miles away from home, him:  842, me:  1,203.  Phone conversations he spoke in Portuguese in front of me:  1.  Books he's recommended to me:  7.  Hours spent together in the library:  1.  Plans made for future endeavors:  6.

April 17, 2013

The Secret Society of Abnormal Ears

     My mother has fair, white skin from a decent of European colonists from England and Ireland, mainly.  My father has brown skin with a little black mole on his cheek and one more on his calf.  His brown skin is inherited from a long decent of Filipino ancestors.  I am the oldest of four and our complexions range across a gradient of light brown and tan.  Anyone can see how four children are related to my dad, but at the grocery store my mo has often been asked, "Are those your kids?"  To this she would smile knowingly and reply, "Yes.  Yes, they are."  When we're all together, it looks like mom is an outcast among sun-kissed legs and arms, but you must look past the obvious to see a secret trait that tie my brother, and two sisters to my mom, closer than skin.  We share the secret trait of abnormal ears.
     Darwin's tubercle, also known as Darwin's bump, Woolnerian tip, or auricular tubercle, is a small bump found on the top part of the ear's helix.  Charles Darwin was the first to describe this feature in his book, called The Decent of Man, tying the trait of common ancestry among primates.  Having a bump on my ear must relate me to monkeys.  Personally, I try to avoid all association with being related to monkeys, they don't seem like an appealing ancestor.  I'd rather be related to flamingos with their long, elegant legs, or fish with their moist lips and swimming skills.
     Though little ear bumps are named after Darwin, he himself named it after Thomas Woolner, who sculpted the little bump in his statuette, Puck.  Currently, Puck can be found at Tate Britain, a national gallery of British art.  Tate Britain displays a wide variety of British art from the time of Tudor monarchs to the present day, with the goal of promoting interest in British art all over the world.  Among these British pieces, Puck stands on a little toadstool with the toes on his right foot pointed toward a toad sitting contently while a snake creeps stealthily towards it.  Puck is a bronze, imp-like creature with two triangle wings sprouting from the curved muscles of his back.  The sprite wears a mischievous grin that spreads across his rounded cheeks as he is about to warn the toad of incoming danger.  Relation to a sprite makes more sense to me.  I share many traits with a sprite:  small feet, short stature, graceful, mischievous.  Puck particularly seems relatable, flitting around to warn small animals of danger. 
     My mother is especially like the clever creature, Puck, because she is always quick to save small animals.  This past summer she came to the rescue of a small baby bunny found in our backyard.  She found the brown, fuzzy figure lying mangled among the long green grass, unable to move.  Everything in her hands then fell to the ground and she ran inside with the bunny cupped in her hands.  The furry baby was sad and helpless, one of its hind legs dangling by a flap of skin.  We think a dog had come after her, chomped down on her delicate hind leg, and then by some miracle she had managed to get free.  Several rags, a flimsy brown box, and a large pair of scissors were collected in preparation for surgery.  Mom and my adopted brother then disappeared into the bathroom with supplies and cottontail.  After a handful of nerve-wracking moments, a loud cry echoed through the house.  In my experience with rabbits, they usually make short, quiet noises that sound sweet and pleading.  But the sound that pealed through the space of the house that day was long and sorrowful.  The sound pierced every heart in attendance.  Nothing can compare to the sorrowful cry of a baby bunny.  When I remember that day and the valiant acts of my mother, that sound always echoes in my ears, a sound that I can never forget. 
     I am thankful to have a tubercle on my ear like my mom; it connects me to her valiance.  My siblings and I have different variations of our mother's ear mutation.  My sister carries the burden of ears slightly larger than normal.  Most people can't tell, but often she self-consciously covers them with strategically placed strands of thick brown hair.  My brother's ear features a dimple on a slight fold on the edge of his left ear, to match charming dimples on his smiling cheeks.  My little sister's hides a little bump of cartilage behind her right ear, which she rubs with her fingers when she's trying to think really hard.  Mom and I are the closest in our abnormalities, tubercles pointing out like elfish ears.  The only difference is that hers on her right. 
     Elfish ears were not originally pointed; they were round and human-like in pictures, until Arthur Rackham illustrated all non-humans with pointed ears.  Garth Williams, inspired by Rackham's work, began to portray some of his elves with pointed ears and some without.  Pointed ears on elves have been said to come from folklore, when storytellers describe elves with leaf-like qualities, including leaf-like ears.  Audiences then assumed it meant they were pointed at the tip.
     Such features as ears transform the human into a mystical creature, whether it is an imp, sprite, elf, or fairy.  In my mind, mom, my two sisters, brother and I are tied by a mystical quality, wrought by a simple transformation.  Would the transformation of any other feature be just as magical, mysterious?  Misshapen teeth could resemble the terror of a vampire.  Hairy legs and trimmed beard resemble the cross between human and goat of a fawn.  I believe that we could each relate a unique personal quality to a magical creature.  It only takes a small stretch of the imagination.  Consider then how folklore contains many human-like creatures.  There is something inside us all that yearns for each of our abnormal qualities to enhance our character, or grant us power.